Sunday, August 27, 2017

I'm now in China

(Shanghai is beautiful.)

Yesterday, the cable guy came to my apartment to install Wi-Fi. It took him nearly an hour to get the job done. When he finally finished, the internet worked for my son's computer. However, I couldn't get access. He started talking to me in Chinese. After that, he told me in sign language to sign the contract. Then he walked out the door, leaving your faithful narrator high and dry.

I'm not really a computer guy. And for about 20 minutes, I paced up and down screaming the F-word.

I said, "Fruit! Fruit! That motherfruiter really fruiting reamed me."

Suddenly, an idea popped into my tiny little brain. I restored my Samsung back to its original factory specs. The process took nearly three hours. But it did the job. I now have blazing fast internet speed. Plus my VPN is working like a charm.

We rode the metro to East Nanjing Road in order to visit The Bund. We looked over the river and marveled at the Shanghai skyline. This city is truly beautiful. I'm feeling a great deal of love for the town. However, I've only been here for seven days. Things may change. Perhaps I'll grow bitter.

I took my family to a restaurant. We had short ribs, kung-pow chicken, shrimp fried rice, and boiled clams. The food was absolutely delicious. I washed the vittles down with two big bottles of Harbin beer. The bill came to 28 dollars. You can't beat that.

We got into a taxi. The driver got lost on the way home.

Miz Perfect said, "He da clook. He praying with us."

I said, "He's not playing with us. This is a huge city. He's probably just lost."

She said, "He da clook. Don't be stoopid."

It took us roughly an hour to get home. But the cab fare only came twenty dollars.  Prices in Shanghai are pretty cheap.

I swilled Suntory beer in the comfort of my home while watching Game of Thrones. The Night King kills a dragon with a lance made of ice. The dragon's death is quite impressive. It bleeds out in mid-air. Game of Thrones rocks.

I prayed to the Lord and went to bed. I didn't dream. I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I surfed the net while enjoying a bathroom break. Jon Bones Jones got popped yet again for steroids. He's facing another long suspension. That guy never learns.

Today, we're going to Walmart to buy groceries. We are planning on taking a taxi. I'll let you know how it went.

God bless.

12 comments:

  1. wow.
    crazy stuff.

    hope you round up some neighbors to watch Thrones together.
    maybe in subtitles.
    good way to make new friends.
    here is episode eight, where they take over the hospital and demand more rights for all the patients
    PLACE FINGER HERE AND TAP

    or invite a neighbor over for a morning bathroom break together.
    that's how most people make friends in shanghai.
    give it a shot.

    cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Anonymous.

      Thanks for another great video.

      Cheers.

      Delete
  2. Wow, you're in Shanghai, and it just sounds awesome, Smith. Glad you got your Internet connection figured out. I look forward to your reports from China. Should be entertaining! All the best.

    Eric

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very nice to hear from you.

    I have been checking in the last few days to see how things went. Looking forward to hearing about your further adventures. Funny thing about the internet, sounds like my experiences. Same swear words too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Strangelove.

      I've been in tourist mode, so I haven't been using the internet too much these days.

      Cheers.

      Delete
  4. Good to hear from you.

    I have been trying to post a comment for a couple weeks but with no success. Hope this one goes through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Hu.

      I haven't been checking the blog for the past week. I've been in tourist mode. My apologies.

      Cheers.

      Delete
  5. I am glad you got hooked up to the outside world. Your reaction to the internet process sounded just like mine when I was overseas.

    I have been trying to comment for a few weeks but none of my comments successfully posted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Strangelove.

      Sorry. I've been in tourist mode the last couple of weeks. I'll try to be more diligent.

      Cheers.

      Delete