Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Jonny Bones Jones

(Jonny Bones is my idol.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 10 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Chinese military is opening a base in Djibouti. The French and Japanese also have bases in this poor African nation. China is trying to become an international player. I truly hope that they transform themselves into the new global powerhouse. That way, the United States will be able to save a few bucks and get back into the business of boosting the American middle class.

I ate breakfast at my mother-in-law's house. She lives in Daejeon. I had bacon and eggs. The food was great. I thought about my idol Jon Bones Jones. I think a little too much about Jonny Bones. It's starting to worry me. Jon's the greatest fighter on the planet. He recently knocked out Olympic wrestler Daniel Cormier with a savage kick to the head. He even made Big Dan cry. If I could fight like Jon, I would beat the crap out of everybody on the planet.

I called my mother on FaceTime. Ken the Atheist arrived safely at her house. He couldn't talk because he was sleeping. School starts on the 10th of August. He's taking a lot of hard classes. Algebra II. AP European history. Honors biology. Anatomy. The whole nine yards. Ken's a science and math guy. He doesn't read novels or poetry. And he doesn't give a flying screw about art. But that's OK. To each their own.

We drove back to Ulsan. Miz Perfect listened to her song list full blast on the car stereo. The volume was so loud that it nearly damaged my ears. I hate her musical taste. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and nodded like the village idiot. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode.

We went to a restaurant called Orca. It specializes in JinDeok. Translation? Spicy chicken and potatoes served on a bed of glass noodles. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. Everything in Korea is overpriced. The meal cost me nearly 50 dollars, and I was still hungry.

We walked to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. I also consumed two apple pies. My gluttony knows no bounds.

I got back to the apartment at 10 p.m. I prayed to God and went to bed. I slept like the dead.


  1. I hope Korean apple pies from McDonalds are still fried.
    The baked pies demanded by the SJW's here in the States are terrible.

    1. Hi Screwtape,

      The pies are delicious. I just wish they had cherry.


  2. I did not very much believe in art, either, until I saw it in real life

    it changes you, it really does.

    here is how the workings are emplaced:

    Schlafen wie ein Murmeltier.