Sunday, August 20, 2017

More soju redux

(I enjoyed soju with my barbecue.)

Yesterday, my sister-in-law took us out for dinner. It was our farewell meal. We had Korean barbecue. It included all the fixings such as sauteed onions, Chinese mushrooms, and kimchi. I stuffed my fat face with pork until I thought I would explode. The meat tasted fantastic. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju and a big glass of beer. A good time was had by all.

We returned home at 9 p.m. I took a shower and washed the grime from my filthy body. The Queen Elephant doesn't believe in air-conditioning. Plus electricity is simply too expensive here on the peninsula. During the summer, I usually just sit in front of a fan and sweat like a pig.

I watched the rest of Vikings with Rice-Boy Larry.

He said, "Those pagans are much better fighters than the English. I like their style."

"I've got bad news for you."

"What?"

"The English end up kicking their butts back to Scandinavia. Historically speaking."

"Really?"

"Really."

And this is true. King Alfred opened up a can of whoop-ass on Ivar the Boneless back in the 9th century. With that said, I'd never make it as a Viking or a Saxon. I've got the drinking part down, but I fight like a girl. Oh well. What's a boy to do?

I paid homage to The Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. Then I went to sleep and had a crazy dream. I found myself relaxing in Pastor John MacArthur's bed and watching porno on a large screen television. Suddenly, my former boss barged into the apartment.

He smiled at me nervously. "Mr. Buffalo, you can't be here until April."

I said, "Don't worry. I'm only testing the place out."

I woke up at 11 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Antifa and other leftists shut down a free-speech rally in Boston. They're very proud of themselves, and the media is on their side. The First Amendment seems to be under fire in my nation.

I ate bacon and pancakes for dinner. Rice-Boy Larry had fish, rice, and ass-soup. That boy is a real Asian. I took him for a haircut before walking to the internet cafe. We leave for China tomorrow. I probably won't be able to blog for the next few days. I have to get the internet set up in my apartment.

God bless.

4 comments:

  1. you can mix things up a little bit by splicing prayers together. from jabez. from agur. from jonah. from the psalmist. and JC.

    I cried out from the belly of hell.
    Be gracious to me and hear my prayer.
    Rise up, LORD!
    enlarge my coast.
    break the teeth of the wicked.
    Vindicate me, LORD, for I have led a blameless life.
    Keep me as the apple of your eye.
    I trust in you. do not let my enemies gloat over me.
    keep [me] evil that that I don't get displeased.
    you threw me into the depths, in the heart of the seas.
    I have been banished from your sight.
    weeds were wrapped around my head.
    Those who hold on to worthless idols abandon their loyalty.
    I will keep my vow.
    I wait for You all day long.
    I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else.
    Punish them, God; let them fall by their own schemes.
    Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions.
    let this cup pass from me.
    I am a worm and not a man, scorned by everyone.
    the LORD accepts my prayer.
    may I become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God.
    save the king!
    Be gracious to me, O LORD! See my affliction from those who hate me.
    give me today the daily food you give me on a per-diem basis,
    which you were going to give me anyway.
    forgive me, the same way I forgive other people.
    have mercy on me, a sinner.
    I am pining away; Heal me.
    Why do You hide in times of trouble?
    Vindicate me, LORD.
    Strike them with terror, LORD.
    destroy their descendants from the earth, their posterity from mankind.
    How long will you hide your face from me?
    forgive my sin, for it is great.
    it is finished.

    you can also mix up the angle of the bend of the knee(s). 10 degrees for one, 60 degrees for the other. likewise the elbows. and shoulders. because of the many words, it's a lot of work to memorize and say it over and over, so that is why the buddhas write it on a slip of paper and let the wind blow it. or the electricity.

    AUTOMATED PRAYER TECHNOLOGY

    also you could hire a tech to write a javascript to tweet the prayer for you several times per day, facing the internet. this would be more efficient.

    safe travels.

    ReplyDelete
  2. good luck with the move Mr. Smith.

    Mr. Benge

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mr. Benge.

      Thanks for the kind words.

      Cheers.

      Delete