(Pastor John MacArthur believes that drunkenness is a terrible sin.)
Yesterday, I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A taxi driver from Shanghai was sent to jail for spreading rumors. He was sentenced to five days behind bars. He said that Chinese diplomats in India were being recalled by the powers-that-be due to tensions between the two nations. A blogger picked up his story and pasted it on his website. Free speech isn't a priority in the PRC.
A man from a moving company visited our apartment. He brought a ton of cardboard boxes with him, and filled them with our clothes and household items. I felt sorry for the guy. He had to drag ten heavy cartons down four flights of stairs. Our building doesn't have an elevator. We're bringing that crap to Shanghai. My wife never throws anything away. She's a hoarder.
Miz Perfect had to drive all over town to prepare for the move. She took Rice-Boy Larry with her. I was left to my own devices. I watched several YouTube videos by a pastor named John MacArthur. I found his sermons compelling. He told me that I'm probably going to hell. I've been living the life of a drunkard--which is quite sinful. According to Paul, drunkards will never inherent the Kingdom of Heaven. Consequently, I've decided to climb on the wagon. It's time to give sober living a try. After all, the last place I want to end up is hell. Who needs that stress?
Miz Perfect came home at 5 p.m. I drove the Santa Fe to Daejeon. That's where my mother-in-law lives. We stopped by a roadside cafe to eat. I had Dunkin Donuts while my wife enjoyed a big bowl of ass soup. The smell was enough to gag a maggot. I hope that ass soup is banned in China.
I call my mother-in-law The Queen Elephant. She's in charge of everything. The entire family dances to her tune. We got to her place at 10 p.m.
Miz Perfect put a hundred dollars in my wallet.
She said, "Use dis money to buy da food for Rarry. My sista and I do many thing tomollow. You will be arone until Fliday night."
I said, "Is a hundred enough?"
She became angry. "Who spend a hundled dolla in one day? Are you clazy?"
I said, "Korea's expensive. I will have to cook at home."
She said, "You shut da mouth."
I went into a separate room and began watching season two of Vikings. The Queen Elephant came in later and slipped me another fifty bucks. Good for her. After that, I said my prayers and went to bed. I slept like the dead.