Monday, August 7, 2017

The Nazi salute is illegal in Germany

(Two Chinese men were arrested for giving the Nazi salute in Berlin.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 10 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Two Chinese men traveled to Berlin for a vacation. They gave the Nazi salute in public just for fun. They were promptly arrested by the powers-that-be and carted off to jail. The men were released after paying 500 Euros each to the German authorities. Free speech doesn't exist in Europe. But it doesn't exist in China, either. So why quibble?

We left our hotel and drove to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and two large orders of French fries. I also consumed two apple pies. The meal was delicious. I'm a huge fan of junk food. All that starch sends me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with a huge glass of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

Miz Perfect said, "Ret's go to Mokpo."

I said, "Why the heck should we drive to Mokpo? That's a million miles from our humble abode."

She said, "It famous for da octopus."

I said, "I'm a big fat man from America. What the fruit am I gonna to with an octopus?"

"Octopus dericious. Everlybody think dericious. You ruv da octopus."

"I don't love octopus. I only eat it when I'm fall-down drunk."

I walked up the stairs to urinate. Then I bought another apple pie for the road. 

When I move to China, I shall live an Old Testament lifestyle. I'll go to work daily while my wife remains at the tent and cooks the meat. And that's cool with me. I'm sick and tired of visiting places. Sight-seeing wears me out.

We got home at 7 p.m. and walked to the beach. We stopped at a second-story restaurant for dinner. I had sweet and sour pork, and spicy rice cake. The meal was fantastic. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju.

Rice-Boy Larry asked my opinion about the rights of the LGBT community.

I said, "You're nine-years-old. Where do you get this crap?"

"The internet."

I said, "I don't give a flying fruit one way or the other. It's their life. They're free to do as they please."

"Donald Trump hates them"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, good for him."

We got back to the apartment at 10 p.m. I took a shower and prayed to God. Then I went to bed. I slept like the dead.


  1. Really enjoying the posts Mr. Smith.

    Have researched your options when it comes to public worship in China? I understand their are state sanctioned churches in China but I could be wrong.

    Mr. Benge

    1. Hi Mr. Benge.

      I'm playing it by ear. I'll let you know soon enough.


  2. Old Testament lifestyle = goats

    and that means butchering etc

    maybe have to change the name of the blog

    this would be the usual place to link to an educational video, but the EATINGDOGINCHINA terms of service prohibit that and so the reader will have to search youtube for "Breakdown of a Goat with Chef Jacques Gautier" which is a real life depiction of cutting up an animal and is therefore offensive, or else alternatively "Goat Sacrifice in Nepal" which is another video on youtube that the reader can watch but will find it offensive because of its content.

    here's geddylee with "The Fountain of Lamneth"

    1. Hi Anonymous.

      I've never butchered an animal, but I'm willing to learn.


  3. Mr Smith, I have been to Germany on several occasions. Even the most innocuous seeming comment regarding Nazism is very much frowned upon. My travels were in a professional capacity but there seemed to be inevitably that one American who was eager to display his or her cluelessness about the subject. I'm not sure why any other foreigner would think it is a joking matter, but that's just me I guess.

    1. Hi Karl.

      I've been to Germany, and I loved it. But I'm still glad that America is country where a man is free to be a clueless asshole.