Saturday, September 2, 2017

I went downtown

(I now eat pigeon.)

Yesterday, I took the metro to People's Square. I had to ride the busiest line to get there. Line 2 is absolute murder. The tube is stuffed to the gills with human flesh. There's absolutely no room to move. Line 1 is no bed of roses, either. But I have to say this. The Shanghai subway system is cheap and easy to master. It will get you anyplace you want to go.

We walked around the city admiring the beautiful modern buildings. But we were quite famished, so we found a restaurant that had a picture-book menu. Neither my wife nor I can speak a word of Chinese. Therefore, it was convenient to point at the stuff we wanted when the waiter took our orders.

I decided to go ethnic. I had fried suckling pigeon. I also stuffed my fat face with noodles and rice. I washed the vittles down with two big bottles of Suntory beer.

Miz Perfect said, "You da disgusting man. Who eat da pigeon? You gloss."

I said, "I'm not gross. I just want to see how the other half lives."

To be honest, pigeon doesn't have a lot of meat. However, the bird is quite tasty. I recommend it for those of you who want to live on the culinary edge. It's something you can tell your grandchildren--if you don't die of food poisoning first.

We had a hard time hailing a taxi home. All the locals use an app called DiDi to summon a ride. I shall have to master the art, or I'll be spending a lot of time out in the elements. I also have to master Alipay and WeChat.

We finally got back to our humble abode at 11 p.m. I drank several cans of beer. After that, I prayed to God and climbed into bed at one a.m. I slept like the dead.

I woke up this morning at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read Lord of the Flies while taking a bathroom break. I'm not a huge fan of the novel. But it was one the bookshelf, so why not?

Today, I'm going to the market for a new pair of shoes. My other shoes are too tight and making my life miserable.

Anyway, I've got nothing else to tell you.

God bless.


  1. When in Rome Mr. Smith!

    Mr. Benge

  2. ni hao.

    suckling pigeon.

    what a sight to behold. like unto a platypus. suckling without teats. bioscience and culinary science meet together in the tent of mammon.

    in lord of the flies, they worship a spit-roasted pigeon and sacrifice children.

    the book should be banned.

    fortunately, the kids are rescued by the navy. there's even a video of the event.


    if you could copyright the lord's prayer, you can monetize it via royalties. but since it's already in the public domain, you should probably copyright some other version and then get people to pay a license fee to repeat it each day.

    they could pay using bitcoin. or else maybe even better you could fork a fruiting variant called prayercoin and then the distributed cryptoledger of prayer could keep the pigeons flowing. this is what the smart servant did in order to double the talents of the silver. he invested them in prayercoin and received alot of praises from the master for being good and also faithful in terms of monetization.

    upload a picture of the new pair of shoes. people have been wagering on whether they are brown or tan or black or whatever. this website is creating lots of action now.

    beige. come on, beige. beige for the win. beige for the big money.

    1. Hi Anonymous.

      Thanks for another great video.


  3. "The tube is stuffed to the gills with human flesh."

    lol Nice description of that which frightens me about public transportation, Smith.

    I don't know what to make of your photo of that poor pigeon on a platter. It looks abysmal, but is probably a nice, crispy, honey-glazed poultry delight. I would eat a dozen of them at one sitting, I'm sure. lol

    Best regards,

    Eric (Seattle)

    1. Hi Eric.

      There isn't much meat on the average pigeon.


  4. I know you are probably busy getting settled in your new digs, But have been missing my "eating dog fix"
    Really hope all is well with you and the family, looking forward to the next installment.
    Cheers from Arkansas

    1. Hi Anonymous.

      I'm going to post ten entries per month.